Funny

Ava and I went to a "health food" store today...its new and its down the street and I wanted to get some vitamins for all of us. So I thought, what better place to get vitamins than a heath food store? So I walked in and I swear the music that was playing was Kumbaya and there were more Birkenstock wearin, granola eatin, no shavin folks up in that joint than I've ever seen in one place...well, except Denton. But, it's Frisco for goodness sakes!! There were Lincoln Navigators, BMWs and at least one Lexus out in the parking lot! Anyway, they definitely had a HUGE selection of vitamins, and I'm sure I looked super confused standing in front of the rows and rows of wheat grass, and echinacea, and ginger root and bayberry bark?!?!?! Which is probably why the worker man (I'll call him Bob) came up and asked if I needed any help. This was our conversation:

Bob: Hi, can I help you find anything?
Me: Yes, thank you! I'm looking for "wellness???" I heard it works to boost the immune system. Its for my daughter. (Ava's sitting in the cart, talking away.)
Bob: Well, first let me ask how much sugar she is getting on a daily basis? Does she drink juice??? Because any more than 10 grams of sugar can really affect the immune system!! And not just the immune system...the whole body!!
Me: Um, I don't know, but she doesn't drink juice.
Bob: Well, is she on breast milk or formula?
Me: (with a seriously weirded out look on my face) Um, neither. She's a year and a half. She drinks milk.
Bob: COW'S MILK?!?!? Because cow's milk is made for cows not people. All of this stuff that we are forcing into our bodies is just so not good for them! This is why kids get sick all the time. Is it at least organic milk? I guess if she has to drink cow's milk, it should definitely be organic.
Me: Um, actually yes. We drink organic milk. (Getting frustrated that Bob won't just tell me where the stupid "wellness" is.)
Bob: Okay, really you need to focus on her diet first and foremost. You should eliminate dairy and any sugar and blah, blah, blah....(I had completely stopped listening and was desperately trying to find the "wellness" myself!!)

Bob saw me looking at ear drops and went on to tell me that the reason for my child's ear infections were not medical at all, but that what we feed our children is what is causing these ear infections. They can be prevented by eliminating dairy and sugar and blah blah blah!!! Good grief, Bob!! You said that already, and I'm pretty sure that my kid has ear infections because her tubes don't drain!!! I don't know why, but I told him that she was getting tubes on Tuesday and I thought he was going to lose his granola! I kindly thanked him for his "help" and found a very nice...non-jugemental....lady who showed me where the stuff was and sent me on my way.

Dude...next time I'm just gonna go to walmart and get some flinstones!!!